We are glad to inform all that reports of Tommy Wilson being kidnapped by Punjab Separatists have been grossly exaggerated by those with very little else to do.
Rumour has it his taxi broke down in the middle of nowhere on way to airport. Truth is taxi driver committed ritual hari kari after only 10 minutes with Tommy in back of cab. “I’m surprised it took that long” said Marie on hearing the said truth.
The latest Conspiracy Theory suggests it was all a ploy by Mrs Wilson to stop the little fella coming back too soon and spoiling her big night at the club.