Eccles U16s away at Altrincham Kersal

Todays match report is brought to you by Glenlivet 18YO Single Malt Whisky and Mendoza Malbec 2012.

Following a rugby drought that had lasted since late November 2016 the boys of the Eccles U16’s headed to leafy Cheshire to take on Altrincham Kersal; a side that we last met in Autumn 2015 when the game went the way of Eccles under the tutelage and temporary dyscalculia of Jordan (Brom) Bromley.

Today would be a different story, Coaches Kevin and James with twenty or so fingers and thumbs between them were more than able to ensure we only had 15 on the pitch at any one time.

The game got under way and it would be Altrincham Kersal who would have the better of the early exchanges, forcing Eccles to defend deep inside their own half. But Eccles are an exceptionally well drilled unit and their defence stood firm, giving no quarter to recurring waves of attack.

The opening try went the way of Altrincham Kersal at a time when Eccles were beginning to make ground on their opponents. With the Eccles attack forging a way forward the ball was lost and a clever (snide) kick over the Eccles lines allowed the pacy Altrincham Kersal winger the opportunity to race through, just beating Brad P to the ball as it trickled over the try line

5 – 0

See previous paragraph…..

12 – 0

At twelve points down the Eccles lads came alive and began to control the game in key areas of the pitch. The Eccles front row of Ellis P, Josh G and Dan A were starting to dominate their opposite numbers as they gained valuable ground with each phase of play.

A testament to the manner in which the Eccles lads play saw todays referee point out to the Altrincham Kersal captain that although Eccles are yet to concede a penalty, Altrincham Kersal were in danger of hitting double figures of infringements.

The Eccles attack was relentless but the Altrincham Kersal defence was holding strong as the Eccles forwards took turns to crash forward in pursuit of points. It seemed inevitable that Altrincham Kersal would eventually give away a penalty try as the pressure mounted. Another infringement by the Altrincham Kersal defence was the last straw for the referee as it saw him brandish a slice of Waitrose Leerdammer (none of your Lidl Linessa cheese in these parts) and in a flash Altrincham Kersal were down to 14 men.

Eccles took advantage of the disruption that their numerical advantage had caused as with the very next phase of play Dan A crashed through the Altrincham Kersal defensive line to chalk up a well earned five points

12 – 5

Half time came and went and Eccles came out for the second period full of fire and were looking dangerous as they pressed for more points. Eccles defended like Trojan’s but were unable to prevent Altrincham Kersal scoring twice more without reply.

Altrincham Kersal are a very competent rugby side with many of their lads playing regularly at school, their club, possibly County too. Eccles were able to leave the field, heads held high knowing that although they didn’t manage to beat Altrincham Kersal, they certainly gave them a game.

Eccles U16’s Vital Statistics

Todays Eccles Squad

Starting XV

  1. Josh G– Loose Head Prop
  2. Dan A – Hooker
  3. Ellis P – Tight-Head Prop
  4. Alex T – Second Row
  5. James W – Second Row
  6. Joe R – Blind-Side Flanker
  7. Albert T– Open-Side Flanker
  8. Alex H – Number Eight
  9. Tanny K – Scrum-Half
  10. Matt W– Fly Half (Captain)
  11. Max R – Left Wing
  12. Shea S– Outside Centre
  13. Harry C – Inside Centre
  14. Rob S – Right Wing
  15. Brad P – Full-Back

Bench Strength

  • Today the lads were benching about 300Kgs
  • Replacements – Matty L, David S, Kieron R, Jack W, Oliver W
  • AWOL – Ed H, James F, Ross A, Liam W

Scores on the Doors

Altrincham Kersal 24 – 5 Eccles

Eccles Try Scorer – Dan A

Eccles Men of the Match

Players Choice – Tanny K

The much coveted EMoM from players went to Tanny K today and who would argue. His tenacity (theres a gag there somewhere) and bravery are second to none and must come as an utter shock to opponents

Coach Choice – Dan A

Playing at Hooker from the start and later at twelve, Dan A imposed himself on the game tremendously today. His speed of thought so often at the heart of what Eccles do best lead to him scoring Eccles only points today. Well done Dan – you had a stormer of a game.

Parents Choice – Tanny K

Tanny secured the parents EMoM by just one vote from Dan A today. Both players were outstanding but Tanny gets to take home the bacon. Fairly new to Union, his familiarity with the ‘pill’ as Coach Kevin calls it, has meant his transition from League to Union has been a smooth one with him becoming a familiar name on the starting line up and now on the EMoMs.

The 2016 F1 cars have a power-to-weight ratio of 1,400 hp/t (1.05 kW/kg), which theoretically would allow the car to reach 100 km/h (62 mph) in less than 1 second – thats Tanny that is!


Very hard and physical game today. The Eccles lads will be achy and sore tomorrow with a list of knocks that goes on and on. Rob S nose, Tanny K hand and leg, Joe R head and leg, Max R finger etc. A knock to the head saw Captain Matt W leave the field early which is always a blow for Eccles as Matt is such an influencing force on the field, not only with his selfless play but with his skills as a Captain and a Leader.

Great food today at Altrincham Kersal – the lads I spoke to all gave it the thumbs up and from personal experience their sausage barm (which Chris’tle tells me is a special in this art of town) was excellent! Definitely the best outside Eccles

Naughty Step

Todays referee gets a seat on todays step for fobbing Chris ‘the whistle’ off with “sorry mate, I’ve got no flags” when he offered to run the line

Despite his plea, coach Kevin  has to spend an hour in the corner, facing the wall after being chastised by todays referee for being too vociferous from the touch line.

What the referee was actually saying in his speech

“can you just shut up……goooodsaaake”

What the Referee said in his speech

“now! these boys are here to play rugby, those parents are here to watch rugby, you are here to coach rugby and I am here to referee rugby. Can you please be quiet and let me do just that”

How the Referee thought his speech was heard

“We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender….”

What we all heard