Eccles 1st 82 – Whitehaven 0

Less is more he said.  As if, when you’ve got so much to write about, it takes time.  Hence, last week’s report being filed late.  I do have a job to you know, someone has to keep the lady of the house in the custom to which she thinks she’s entitled.

Well this week I could double the length of the report if I had the inclination.  Thankfully for all I do not.  I started off with detailed notes of each try, note to others, while I was also running the touch line, however by halftime I gave up, just the names were noted for the record.

Well on to specific matters shall we, Eccles entertained a visiting team from Whitehaven and with hopes of keeping pace with the top of the table teams so registering maximum points was a must.  Any sign of early nerves were soon dispelled as the boys in blue and white started to run up a solid first half lead with tries by Josh Boothman, Sam Simpson, Spick Nooner, Will Parkinson (sorry Joe, he did score, sort of).  During this period of domination we also had Luke Cullen dropping the ball over the line and Greg Wilson being denied due to an unknown technicality.

However the highlight of my day came from a young lady on the touchline shouting at one of the Eccles players, “Daddy, what are you doing” very good question Miss Cahill, that’s something we all want to know at times.  Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings, so they say.  Well this slight on his ability, by one so close, gelled the old man into action and he soon ran in a try of his own, mind you he was helped along the way by the whole team making it easy for him.  The scoring before half time was concluded with a Simon Donovon try and at last a Danny Holland conversion, his first success of the day.

All this put the halftime score at 32 – 0 in Eccles favour.

The second half continued along the same vein as the first with Eccles running in tries almost at will.  First we had Freddie Oakey, Connor Thornley and James Wright adding their names to an ever growing list.  After two more failed attempts at conversions by the Dutchman it was decided to send him his P45 along with the name of a better clog maker and allow James “I can’t tackle, so why have you put me fullback” Wright to have a go.  To add insult to injury for the Dutchman, Jimmy knocked it over with ease.

Having a comfortable lead the referee decided to give Sam Simpson a 10 minute rest, I think this was also to allow him the opportunity to watch how well his team was playing, especially without him.  Even with one less the Eccles try machine kept rolling on with tries by Matt Parkinson (oh no Joe), two by Will Hamer a second by James Wright and the final one by Danny Holland in an attempt to make amends for his off day with the boot (or was it really clogs he was using).  Three of the latter tries being converted by Jammy Jimmy.

Little words of comfort can be said for Whitehaven, they had clearly travelled with a weakened team but still put their all into it and never stopped trying their best.  I think their plight was best summed up with the two youngsters, or were they cherubs, on their wings both being even younger than the two wingers we have.

Well a good result is definitely an understatement but the lads got what they needed, the full five points to narrow the gap at the top, all be it by only a point.  Also a welcome return to the side by Will Hamer, after his extended self-imposed period of isolation in his dad’s kitchen.  All he needs to do now is stop eating the company’s wares and lose some weight.

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About mparkinson

Before I started on my quest of world domination I was a part time dress maker, specialising in the larger woman. To succed in my aim of world domination my first plan is to cause social unrest and panic through subliminal messages in my match reports, so reader beware. During my long journey of life I have caused havoc in many lands, Geordie land, Cockney land and now Manc land. And this is without mentioning what I got up to in foreign rugby tours to USA, Canada, Holland, Hungary, Ireland & Wales.